Hoping for Courage and trying for Honor

Getting away from the daily-grind-of-11-months to a quiet place on an annual vacation does a world of good to your spirit and, amazingly, inspires you in many ways. On my recent annual vacation to my native village where I grew up, I was flooded with inspirational thoughts and I witnessed the “real purpose of life” in simple people, living (in my native village), so happily which is rare. It turned out to be an amazing trip especially in terms of mind and body food. (The “body” took a back seat as the overload of fresh-organic-festive-food had completely thrown the body out of balance. But,it was worth the pain.)

In a crazily busy environment, we would not have the time or the calm-frame-of-mind to examine our spirit to ask ourselves, “Am I am doing what I like to do?” Man, it is a fast life and there is no time to think!! People are easily sucked into the daily grind of mortgages, EMIs, fast food, pills, suitcase-life (travelling) and no-social-life. It is sad to watch people struggle in the fast paced life (A friend of mine travels 25 days a month!!). Oh, they make good money and their career is enviably rocking. It is not that they are desperate for money. It is just that they get sucked into it. One needs a lot of mettle to take the big step of “I quit. I don’t care if the whole world is running after something that is not making any sense.” It is easier said than done. Don’t get me wrong. Money is important, but am I jumping out of my bed in joy every morning to face the world in all aspects of life: God, Health, Family, Passion, Work etc? Whenever I end up having such a conversation with my friends, most of them tell me with a furious face, “What’s wrong with you, man? Are you not happy to see me go on with my life trying so hard not to open my “Pandora’s box”?” Well, I am not an exception, as I am still not out of the woods yet.

Over the past several years, I have been asking myself, “How would I define success in my life?” I had come up with answers many times but, in retrospect, those answers were biased (subconsciously) with worldly priorities and the answers did not survive the throbbing conscience. After having matured through the ups and downs of life (and still much, much more to learn in life), now, I think I seemed to have found the Holy Grail: The ability to be independent from the worldly forces (work, finance) and the capacity to take critical decisions to follow your passions. Well, this idea of independence is not something new to me either. It is a Holy Grail for many too, but thanks to the forces of nature, many of us deviate from the Holy Grail and get sucked into the daily grind. So, what is different and new this time? The conviction has strengthened and the vacation has made a profound impact on how to pursue the Holy Grail.

St. Thomas Church in my native village










And, the other question is “Why do we strive to achieve?” I got a reasonable answer from an unusual source. In the movie, The Blind Side, Michael Oher writes in his article (one of my favorites):

“Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but you are not supposed to question adults or your coach or your teacher. Because they make the rules. Maybe they know the best or maybe they don't. It all depends on who you are and where they come from. Didn’t at least one of the six hundred guys think of giving up and joining with the other side? I mean The Valley of Death! That's pretty salty stuff. That's why courage is tricky; should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you do something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that's the real reason you do something or you don't. It’s who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important then you have both honor and courage and that's pretty good. I think that's what the writer was saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honor and maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some too. “

Yes, don’t we all strive for honor? Well, so far, it has been just text book knowledge to me, as I am not out of the woods yet and I am still trying. Here I go…………..hoping for courage and trying for honor.

No more "Hail Mary"

A "Hail Mary pass" or "Hail Mary play" in American football refers to any very long forward pass made in desperation with only a small chance of success, especially at or near the end of a half.

Some people get an easy ride in life and fail to realize the worthiness of what they have. Such peole with a cushy job and a flashy life style may not appreciate what they have that others strive and slog for. I am not being judgemental here. I am talking from personal experience. Talking about people with "no gratitude in life" and "no pain, a lot of gain", I am happy for them, but I do not envy them. For starters, why talk about others, try me 10 years back in Boston. I clearly qualified in this category 10 years back. Been there....done that....nothing much to be proud of. I remember throwing "Hail Mary" all the time and it worked all the time!! It is just that I did not know that I was throwing "Hail Mary" as I had been a Happy-Go-Lucky guy. My critics never had the last word, unfortunately. I wish Tom Brady had a success rate like that......Go Patriots!!

But, this good fortune has to stop someday, right? And, when it stops, the world comes crashing down. And the pain?? It is a terrible jolt that will leave a permanent imprint in your mind that will haunt you for ever.

What's next? What do you do now? I guess that is what defines our character and, ultimately, our lives. Yes, you fell down hard. You just get back on your feet and run again. Your body is not fit enough to match the burning sensation of resilience in your mind. You had not upgraded your skills in your Happy-Go-Lucky life for a long time. You took the foot off the gas pedal. But, now, it is time to endure the pain and get used to fear. The transformation process is so amazing and painful.

Perhaps, it is easy to lie to your friends or lie to your family, as you believe that they will forgive you. But, if you lie to yourself, you will never forgive yourself. I guess, this is the most difficult part of the transformation that will haunt you for the rest of your life. And, the transformation costs dearly in both tangible and intangible ways!!

Ultimately, you ignite the transformation process and, hopefully, the evolution of this newly-hard-earned attitude will cease to gyrate only on the day when we depart for the better world. If not, then we still have not learnt our lesson. As the saying goes....perhaps, it is okay to lose, but when you lose don't lose the lesson.

Having worked in different cultures/continents, the other side of the grass is no longer green to me. I know what I want (to a greater extent). Now, having worked in the Middle East for sometime, I am a bit shocked to see the expats living a very lethargic life, oblivious to the rulthless capitalistic world out there. These folks (blessed, in a way) seldom had to throw "Hail Mary" for over 20 or 30 years. Yes, they have had their share of problems, especially in the health front, but they have had such a peaceful, pleasant and enjoyable family life that is still a dream-come-true for many expats living in the Western world. Trust me, I know it is true!! But, frankly, having learnt my lesson, I will not dare to venture into another Happy-Go-Lucky phase.

Perhaps, my transformation is put to test in an environment where there is hardly any motivation or inspiration. (Please bear with my boasting. It is truly a sense of joy.) Talking about test results, I have made tremendous progress: My weekly 10km runs, my recent 17km run, my 1km swimming, blogging, my target of doing a half marathon this year, I am VP-Public Relations at my Toastmasters Club, my weekly write-up for the Toastmasters Club (http://morisonmuscat.freetoasthost.biz/), progress in the certification/professional front, great progress in the family/personal/relationship front (perhaps, the best of all).

One of the most important lessons that I have learnt in my transformation process is "Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life.”

In today's world, most of us will need to throw a "Hail Mary" soon, as the world is bracing for the impact of the world-economic-tsunami that the world has never seen before and, even worse, there are no solutions even from the gurus yet. As Thomas Friedman blogs: the European Union is cracking up. The Arab world is cracking up. China’s growth model is under pressure and America’s credit-driven capitalist model has suffered a warning heart attack and needs a total rethink. Recasting any one of these alone would be huge. Doing all four at once — when the world has never been more interconnected — is mind-boggling. We are again “present at the creation” — but of what?

Let us not stop working and remember to enjoy the journey. Meanwhile, let us prepare ourselves for the "Hail Mary", if required, but at the same time be grateful and enjoy every precious moment of our lives with passion.

Live with passion

The traditional custom of ‘Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ was broken when the 2011 World Championship of Public Speaking was webcast live (for the first time ever) from Las Vegas, across the earth. One of the contestants, Kwong Yue Yang of China (Second Place Winner), struck a chord in me with his speech, “Fortune Cookie”, in which he talked about discovering our passions by ourselves rather than aping successful people. Kwong, having received millions of free advice from many, got the best advice ever from a fortune cookie: a piece of paper with nothing written on it. The theme being: one has to discover oneself and not ape someone. The movie, Kungfu Panda revolves around the same theme. And, last but not the least, my favorite movie, “3 idiots” conveys just that.

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you. – Oprah Winfrey

Well said. It is something that gives you a high and keeps you ticking. Even until a few years back, I remember moments in my life when I had felt empty with no excitement although it was weekend or I had nothing to worry about. The moment deserved excitement, but it was empty. Then, I never understood that emptiness and I had always wondered why. Thanks to one of my best friends who turned my life around by helping me discover my passions (blogging, marathon) and my life has never been the same again since then. No matter how bad the circumstance is, I know exactly which string to be pulled to get my spirits high. I travel to my world of passions to experience the “high” that fills the emptiness and the excitement emits so much energy that you become restless which lands me in another dilemma: from emptiness to excitement, you want to do so many things but wonder where to start.

On my recent trip to my native village in India, I came across a few enchanting people who have escaped the corporate rat race, have been blessed with flexible work times, don’t have to commute in a bumper-to-bumper traffic every day and lead an organic lifestyle (pretty much). The best part of it all is that they do not work rather they do what excites them the most: their passions. These fascinating people who have chosen their passions as their professions - Sea farers, teachers, businessmen, businesswomen, musicians, social workers, and teachers – lead an envious life and the excitement is written all over their faces anytime you meet them. One thing that they all have in common is their unshakeable conviction and positive attitude towards life.

It’s incredible!!

In the movie, “Serendipity”, John Cussack’s buddy says to him, "The Greeks didn’t write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died: Did he have passion?" True or not, it is a powerful statement that intrigues anyone.